summertime sadness

Recently there's been one word to describe the temperature here, and that is freezing. It's not that I don't like the cold, actually that's kind of a lie, I really don't like the cold. I like cold weather when I can curl up next to the fire and drink hot chocolate.

The cold weather makes me miss home. I'm not homesick though. A lot of people are really excited about going back home for thanksgiving, but I don't feel like that at all. Don't get me wrong, I miss my parents and family and wyatt,  jazz a boo, and even poe, but I don'g obsess over going back, in fact I'd really rather not have to go back.

I'm not homesick for home, I'm homesick for how it use to be. I miss the inbetween.

I know that things have to change because that's how life works, but I miss the time I use to wish would end sooner.
 I miss seeing everyone and knowing what would happen and when. I miss running barefoot through the stoneleigh fields while A chases me  while M and N are laughing their heads off at the sight of us, I miss rolling into the Towson diner at 3 in the morning and the waiters knowing our order already. We'd sit in the sticky plastic booth, playing with the straws and condensation on the old fashion milkshake glasses while N and A take forever to finish their pizza fries and burgers, which are nasty to begin with. I miss blasting 'grillz' and 'boyz in da hood' while driving on baltimore street and through remington, we knew it was stupid but we thought we were indestructible. I miss the countless  nights we wound up in M's basement. I miss N yelling at me and M to hurry up, saying he and A will leave without us. I miss Ra being our 5th wheel. I miss the nights we hopped the fence and snuck into the pool. I miss all the stupid things we did this past summer and how funny we all thought we were. I miss even miss the lie that it would all stay the same.

So I'm not excited for thanksgiving break but I'm really excited for Christmas break. I can't wait to decorate our massive tree (jazz hates christmas trees ever since  one fell on him), to take over the kitchen baking our coveted christmas cookies, to have the house smell like evergreen and cinnamon, to make christmas countdown chains, advent calenders, to fill  the christmas crackers (not actually crackers, they're a paper cone shaped thing filled with a christmas crown and a cheap toy. they're called crackers because of the snap they make when pulled.), to break out my flannel sheets, to get everyone presents, to wrap and decorate the presents, and to see my family and M and Ra and possibly N and A, depends on how bored we get.

But, in the mean time, I'll just open my window all the way to make the room less like a sauna and spray the gingerbread glade.