Can I just be Mindy Kaling?

            It happened, again. I clenched my teeth together felt my mouth attempt to keep smiling. My nails dug into my palms and took a depth breath. Ok, maybe I didn’t really react this way, but if one more person asks me the same question, I might loose it.

The question. The same question that I’ve been asked since the start of senior year at THS.

“So, what are you going to major in?”

Once upon about five months ago, I knew the answer by heart, “I’m going to major in Elementary Education. I had a internship with Mrs. Hughey (she’s a huge deal at RFES, people I graduated with didn’t have her for kindergarten, but remember her instead of their own teacher.) and the kindergarteners in Room 4 and loved it. This would be responded to by the inevitable “aaaawwww, so cute!” and it’d be over.

Now, I laugh and say, “I have no idea.”

What changed?

 I was the senior counselor of the Terrapins and Comb Jellies at a Day Camp this summer. Due to changes in the system I was in charge of the two groups for the majority of the summer, and of course the junior counselors who can be a godsend or the absolute worst, and the unreliable CITs. Being in charge of first and second graders is pretty much what you’d expect. Don’t get me wrong, the kids were adorable, but it was really eye opening. We had one kid eat a bug. (yeah.), one who’s dad was probably in the mafia, one who was use to getting away with everything, and the list goes on and on.

I have no idea what I want to do with my life.

It turns out that coming up with Essie nail polish names, “Where’s my chauffer?”, “Bobbing for Baubles’”, “Just for the twill of it”, etc.. Is not a legitimate job. The staff offers up ideas and the CEO Essie, approves them. You can’t actually get a MRS degree, which is disappointing because I could easily rock a 4.0 with only home economics courses. I’m not in L.A so I can’t be Mindy Kaling’s bff/ cowritter (and she already has that chick who played Ellie on the office and she’s dating B.J Novak, Ryan from the office.)

But seriously, I have no idea. I come up with ridiculous idea (see list above) but can’t think of something I’d actually want to do. I know that a lot of people don’t even use their masters for their careers (side note: AAHHH!!) which really, really stresses me out, because the advice to take classes that you like isn’t that easy. I decided to get classes I don’t like out of the way for my first semester. And I really don’t like the idea of not knowing what job I’d have as a result of my major.

I recently got a letter from my friend C who is going to college in Boston, “duuudeeee- I have no idea about my major either! I’m thinking communication, but who knows. Maybe I’ll just become a hobo. I’d totally rock the hobo chic look.” That didn’t help much at all, except to remind me it’s probably not good to ask advice from someone who still talks like they did in middle school.